Welcome back to another edition of What’s Happening in Football, where we break down what’s happening in football today and the only thing crazier than the takes are the quarterbacks.
Shedeur Sanders: From HOF to DMV One minute Shedeur Sanders is bound for Canton because he’s lighting up 7-on-7 drills against second-stringers. The next minute? He’s being compared to Johnny Manziel. Why? Well, he was clocked doing 101 in a 55 while apparently blasting Sammy Hagar. Turns out it’s not his first ticket either, and he skipped court. Not great, Shedeur.
Joe Flacco: Certified Old Guy Energy Joe “Cool” Flacco is not here to mentor anyone. He’s not here for TikTok, either. He’s here to tell you to get off his lawn and that back in his day, they had two-a-days, walked uphill both ways, and drank motor oil for breakfast. Aaron Rodgers wishes he were Joe Cool.
Cam Ward Has Entered the Chat Who? Exactly. Cam Ward, the QB from Miami and #1 overall pick by the Titans, introduced himself to the NFL by yelling, “I’m going to throw the F*** out of the football.” Bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off.
Caleb Didn’t Want Chicago Smoke Before the 2024 NFL draft, Caleb Williams and his dad said Chicago is “where quarterbacks go to die.” And they were determined to avoid being drafted by Da Bears. Ouch. Word is he wanted to be a Viking, but now Minnesota’s not even sure about J.J. McCarthy. Sam Darnold balled out last year and nearly won MVP just by tossing it to Justin Jefferson. Sam’s now in Seattle, and the Vikings are salty Danny Dimes went to the Colts. Fun fact: he was on Minnesota’s practice squad last year. Now? He might QB1 in Indy. Anthony Richardson, meanwhile, is already catching the B-word… bust.
You Know You’re Rich When… You drop $500K on a football card. That’s exactly what Commanders owner Josh Harris did. He bought a 1-of-1 Jayden Daniels rookie card for half a million bucks. Must be nice to have the kind of money where you treat rare football cards like we treat $5 scratch-offs. The rest of us are just hoping our DoorDash driver doesn’t judge our “spicy nuggets and mozzarella sticks” combo.
And Then There’s This… Two former Fantasy Football Studs are in the news for all the wrong reasons. * Antonio Brown is apparently on the lam, fleeing the country after shooting a gun and trying to unalive somebody at a celebrity boxing event in Miami. * Former Vikings running back Adrian Peterson threw hands over a poker game. Man really took “Know when to hold ’em” the wrong way.
We’ll be back next week with more hot takes, cold cuts, and fantasy advice that probably won’t hold up in court. Looking for the ultimate fantasy football draft board? Commish Kit has everything you need—poster kits, stand-up corrugated boards, and a digital draft board so slick, your league might actually think you’re organized this year.
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