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Draft Boards, Cowboys Drama, Fantasy Fun Fantasy FootballNFL Football News

Draft Boards, Cowboys Drama, Fantasy Fun

Can't Drive 55: Myles Garrett, Aaron Rodgers' Spaceship Helmet, and Fantasy Football Myles Garrett got clocked doing 100 mph in a 60 mph zone in his Ferrari. This happened three years after he flipped his Porsche multiple times. Because this is a pattern, Garrett has racked up eight speeding tickets with the Browns since 2017. Furthermore Aaron Rodgers still hasn't found a helmet he likes, calling one option "a damn spaceship." Fantasy football draft season is heating up and the…
August 15, 2025
Little Big Man: 70-Yard Kicker, Ticket Scalpers, Arch Manning, and Fantasy Football Fantasy FootballNFL Football News

Little Big Man: 70-Yard Kicker, Ticket Scalpers, Arch Manning, and Fantasy Football

Little Big Man: 70-Yard Kicker, Ticket Scalpers, Arch Manning, and Fantasy Football Jaguars kicker Cam Little just unleashed an unofficial 70-yard field goal before halftime against the Steelers. He basically kicked it from Jacksonville to Pittsburgh. Furthermore over 100 NFL players and coaches got busted flipping Super Bowl tickets. Arch Manning's grandfather says he's staying at Texas for two more years as the starting quarterback. And Brent Musburger just received the Pete Rozelle Award from the Football Hall of Fame.…
August 13, 2025
Preseason Week 2: Burrow Lights Up the Eagles, Caleb Williams Throws Dirt Bombs, and T-Sizzle Gets Arrested at Starbuck Fantasy FootballNFL Football News

Preseason Week 2: Burrow Lights Up the Eagles, Caleb Williams Throws Dirt Bombs, and T-Sizzle Gets Arrested at Starbuck

Preseason Week 2: Burrow Lights Up the Eagles, Caleb Williams Throws Dirt Bombs, and T-Sizzle Gets Arrested at Starbucks NFL Preseason Week 2 delivered real football news wrapped in fake game results. Joe Burrow lit up the Super Bowl champion Eagles for 123 yards and 2 touchdowns in August. Caleb Williams threw dirt bombs and cussed his way off the field in Chicago. Shedeur Sanders looked good in Cleveland. Jaxson Dart showed he belongs in New York. Furthermore Tom Brady…
August 11, 2025
LAC and Cleveland Making Moves. Fantasy FootballNFL Football News

LAC and Cleveland Making Moves.

SMU's Back, Baby (and Still Paying Players?) ESPN's Paul Finebaum just called SMU the most corrupt program in college football history. Harsh? Maybe. Accurate? Also, maybe. He was talking about the infamous 1987 “death penalty” when SMU got caught paying players like it was the Wild West. Fast forward to today, and the Mustangs just bought their way into the ACC and the College Football Playoff. Somewhere in a Texas booster’s ranch house, a checkbook just sighed in relief. Meanwhile, Texas, A&M, and Tech are dropping bags…
August 8, 2025
The NFL Played The Apprentice This Week: Cuts, Firings, and Fantasy Football Draft Season Fantasy FootballNFL Football News

The NFL Played The Apprentice This Week: Cuts, Firings, and Fantasy Football Draft Season

The NFL Played The Apprentice This Week: Cuts, Firings, and Fantasy Football Draft Season The NFL must have watched The Apprentice on loop this week because heads are rolling everywhere. Cordarrelle Patterson got fired on his day off like Craig from Friday. ESPN fired Shannon Sharpe the same week his brother Sterling got inducted into the Hall of Fame. The chain gang got replaced by robots. Furthermore nobody's job is safe — not players, not broadcasters, not the guy holding…
August 6, 2025
Jerry’s World, Dude Wipes Helmets, and the Arch Manning Browns Conspiracy Theory Fantasy FootballNFL Football News

Jerry’s World, Dude Wipes Helmets, and the Arch Manning Browns Conspiracy Theory

Jerry's World, Dude Wipes Helmets, and the Arch Manning Browns Conspiracy Theory Jerry Jones went full soap opera during Cowboys training camp — throwing shade at both Dak Prescott and Micah Parsons in the same breath while getting his facts wrong. Furthermore the Browns unveiled a new doo-doo brown helmet sponsored by Dude Wipes. And there is a conspiracy theory brewing right here in Austin about Browns owner Jimmy Haslam being obsessed with Arch Manning. You cannot make this up.…
August 4, 2025
Quarterback on Netflix: Burrow’s Batmobile, Chase’s $161M, and Ochocinco’s Roach-Infested Storage Unit Fantasy FootballNFL Football News

Quarterback on Netflix: Burrow’s Batmobile, Chase’s $161M, and Ochocinco’s Roach-Infested Storage Unit

Quarterback on Netflix: Burrow's Batmobile, Chase's $161M, and Ochocinco's Roach-Infested Storage Unit I watched the Netflix series Quarterback so you don't have to. Joe Burrow led the NFL in passing yards and touchdowns last season. Ja'Marr Chase won the receiving triple crown and signed a $161 million extension. Furthermore Burrow bought the Batmobile from Christopher Nolan's Batman movie and attended Paris Fashion Week for Vogue. Meanwhile a TikToker bought Chad Ochocinco's abandoned storage unit for $890 and found designer kicks,…
July 31, 2025
The Hall of Fame Game isn’t the only thing heating up… Fantasy FootballNFL Football News

The Hall of Fame Game isn’t the only thing heating up…

Training camps are open, and Preseason football is almost here, but the real fireworks are coming from your favorite retired legends.  Randy Moss Ain’t Feeling the Cheetah Love Randy Moss isn’t mincing words. When asked if Tyreek Hill belongs in the all-time WR convo, Moss said: "He’s nowhere all-time." (Cue record scratch.) Sure, Moss gave Hill props as a top-5 guy right now, but says when it comes to GOAT status, it's not even close. Randy’s résumé: 156 TDs, 15,292…
July 30, 2025
Dazed, Confused, and full of NFL drama. Let’s rock. Fantasy FootballNFL Football News

Dazed, Confused, and full of NFL drama. Let’s rock.

Led Zeppelin, TJ Watt's $123M, and the NFLPA Director's Strip Club Scandal: Fantasy Football Draft Season While everyone was hyped about the new Superman movie this week, I went old school and watched Becoming Led Zeppelin on Netflix instead. No CGI. No capes. Just four musical prodigies from England melting faces and changing music forever. Because the music inspired this week's newsletter, every story is themed around a Zeppelin classic. Furthermore TJ Watt got $123 million, the NFLPA executive director…
July 28, 2025
Buckeyes, Beef, and Bank Accounts: Urban Meyer, Garrett Wilson’s $130M, and Fantasy Football Fantasy FootballNFL Football News

Buckeyes, Beef, and Bank Accounts: Urban Meyer, Garrett Wilson’s $130M, and Fantasy Football

Buckeyes, Beef, and Bank Accounts: Urban Meyer, Garrett Wilson's $130M, and Fantasy Football This week in Buckeyes brings us beef and bank accounts. Urban Meyer told ESPN's Paul Finebaum that Cam Newton was the worst player he ever coached. Cris Carter and Chad Ochocinco are beefing on social media. Garrett Wilson secured $130 million and is now teaming up with Justin Fields in New York. Furthermore Terry McLaurin has five straight 1,000-yard seasons and still has not gotten paid. Fantasy…
July 25, 2025

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Warning: These Draft Boards Pair Dangerously Well with Pizza, Guac & Trash Talk.·