Preseason Week 2
Pittsburgh: Aaron Rodgers says he’s “fully on board, but preseason football is not necessarily real football.” That’s cute. Preseason football is basically football lite. Aaron can head back into the darkness because real football is almost here, and some teams are already playing their starters.
Cincinnati: The Bengals didn’t hold back. Joe Burrow lit up the Super Bowl-champion Eagles for 123 yards and 2 TDs, one to Ja’Marr Chase, in August.
In Baltimore, Anthony Richardson hurt his pinky on his throwing hand (day-to-day), while Kansas City will run their starters against Arizona.
The Browns started Shedeur Sanders vs. the Panthers because Kenny Pickett and Dillon Gabriel are hurt… and old man Joe Flacco has better things to do. The kid looked good, throwing for 138 yards and 2 TDs. And in Buffalo, Giants rookie QB Jaxson Dart showed that he can play in this league. He threw for 154 yards and a TD and 24 rushing yards.
New England: And the GOAT keeps winning. Robert Kraft just gave his “son,” Tom Brady, a statue outside Gillette Stadium.
Tom said, “But in the end, the statue isn’t just for Pats fans. It’ll also give all the Jets fans something to throw their beers at as they leave the stadium every year. Probably in the 2nd quarter. Maybe the 3rd.”
Chicago: Da Bears might be having buyer’s remorse. Caleb Williams is struggling learning Ben Johnson’s new offense… and by “learning” we mean missing the practice net three times, throwing dirt bombs, and cussing all the way off the field.
In the Rookies-With-Confidence Department: Some folks think the Jag’s Travis Hunter can win both Offensive and Defensive Rookie of the Year by playing both ways. Rams WR Davante Adams isn’t buying it, saying the physical toll will crush that dream. “You gotta tackle Derrick Henry with that frame,” Adams said. “He’s athletic as hell, but he better do some ninja s*** if he wants to use that (frame) to get him down.”
And finally… The Dumb Move of the Week: Former Raven and Cardinal Terrell Suggs was arrested in Arizona after pulling a gun on someone in a Starbucks drive-thru. C’mon, T-Sizzle. It’s coffee, not a 4th-and-goal.
Use the savings for jalapeno poppers and beer and wings🍕🍺
All paper draft boards are now 20% off in our Fire Sale section. Loaded with last year’s draft boards (now upgraded with 2025 rookies) and T-shirts for men and women while they last.
We’ll be back next time with more hot takes, cold cuts, and fantasy advice that probably won’t hold up in court. Looking for the ultimate fantasy football draft board? Commish Kit has everything you need—poster kits, stand-up corrugated boards, and a digital draft board so slick, your league might actually think you’re organized this year.
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